S.N.A.F.U.

Really? What the fuck!?! So today has been less than stellar. Since my last post, several things have happened to me. Some are cool, but most have sucked. First, my flight from Madison to Chi-Town was delayed by 2hrs (sucked). I missed my connection to San Jose (sucked). The next flight to San Jose departed 5hrs. later (sucked). The in-flight movie was "The Prestige" (cool). Crying 2yr old that sat behind me (sucked). Finally, got to San Jose at midnight (sucked). Got to the hotel and I don't have a room (sucked). Apparently, the cleaning staff is on strike, so I the customer got fucked (sucked). While waiting for the cleaning staff to finish up my room, I see a porn star, 2 dudes I assume are also in the film being shot somewhere on the premises, a midget, a bus load of rowdy christian WWF fans, and a crazy lady that reminds me of Joanna (cool). 5 minutes ago, the night manager informed the now small crowd of sleepy individuals in the lobby that are rooms would be comped for the night (sucked/cool). Yeah, no shit they will be comped. This is bullshit. The only thing is, I wasn't paying for the room anyway (cool). So I guess it's nice that my 3 hrs of sleep will be for free this evening. The only thing that could possibly turn this around is if I get recruited to be a boom operator or stand-in performer in "Gang Bang at the Holiday Inn" being filmed in bldg. 5. Travis, the assistant night mgr. is a complete tool. And now there is some cocksmoke at the counter wearing shorts, ankle high black socks and a crew neck sweatshirt yelling free breakfast for everyone. The dude is a complete D-Bag and I hate him. If I get the chance to stick him in an elevator with all of the buttons pushed, I will. If by chance, I happen to leave another post before getting a room, you may want to check the news for a Hermicidal terrorizing the Holiday Inn on First St. in San Jose. On a sidenote, some asshole just spilled his soda all over the lobby floor and said "ewww" and kept walking. What a dick! Good night?

California Love

My stint in "The 'Nati" was pretty sweet. The interview went well, and I got the chance to help the homosexual version of teenage Dracula change a flat tire. Don't worry, I didn't get bitten. By the end of this week, I should hear back as to whether or not P&G liked the cut of my jib.

In the meantime, I'm flying out to San Jose for an interview with another company. I'm excited that I'll be seeing palm trees instead of snow banks for the next few days. Suckers!!! Sorry, that wasn't nice. It's only 49deg F there right now, so you shouldn't be that jealous.

Yesterday, a couple (Arlen & Patty) from Minnesota dropped by on their way down to Daytona Beach, FL. They loaded our bikes into their trailer and are driving down to Bike Week. I'm headed down on March 6th to drink light beer, cruise the strip, drink light beer, and drink light beer. More posts on this subject will appear as March 6th approaches.

Cincinnati or Bust???

Well, my suit is pressed, my shoes are shined, and my hair has been trimmed. No, I'm not picking up your mother for a night on the town. I'm going on an interview!!! And then, I'm picking up your mother.

This afternoon, I'm flying from Madison to Cincinnati for an interview with Procter & Gamble . The position is located within their chemicals division. Apparently, I'd be an Account Manager for oleochemicals. Yes!

One of the major selling points that Ohio has going for it is that many of its cities are frequent hosts of Robert Goulet concerts. Hopefully I'll be able to catch a performance at the Residence Inn lounge tonight after I take my bags to my room.

Moderatilism Roots

The concept of Moderatilism is grounded in the belief that everything should be enjoyed in moderation. Although the term "Moderatilism" does not describe an original thought / way of life, it does label it. And for that, I will take credit.

As you may have already expected, I am the "Father of Moderatilism." The day I took on this responsibility was in the summer of 2004. At the time, I was living in the city of Philadelphia pondering what to do with my life. After a long conversation with a curious man named Bic, a relation of William Penn, the concept of Moderatilism was born. Over the next few years, I began defining the boundaries of Moderatilism and living my life by its guidelines. After careful experimentation and study, I came to the conclusion that the world at large is ready for Moderatilism.

Although he didn't know it at the time, Abraham Lincoln was a Moderatilist and so was Steve Irwin (although his OVERUSE of the word "crikey" led to his demise and subsequent banishment from the Moderalist Colonies of Australia). Other famous retroactive Moderatilists in no particular order include... Otto Von Bismark, Ray Charles, Slider (from Top Gun), Christy Brinkley, Mark Wahlberg, and Jim Henson.

If you are interested in Moderatilism or this Moderatilist, please feel free to email me at Moderatilism@gmail.com to become an Apprentice Moderatilist. After a period of 2 weeks living the right way, the Moderatilist way, you will officially become a full fledged Moderatilist and receive a Happy Birthday email on your birthday.

Testing. 1, 2, 3...

Does this thing work?