The concept of Moderatilism is grounded in the belief that everything should be enjoyed in moderation. Although the term "Moderatilism" does not describe an original thought / way of life, it does label it. And for that, I will take credit.
As you may have already expected, I am the "Father of Moderatilism." The day I took on this responsibility was in the summer of 2004. At the time, I was living in the city of Philadelphia pondering what to do with my life. After a long conversation with a curious man named Bic, a relation of William Penn, the concept of Moderatilism was born. Over the next few years, I began defining the boundaries of Moderatilism and living my life by its guidelines. After careful experimentation and study, I came to the conclusion that the world at large is ready for Moderatilism.
Although he didn't know it at the time, Abraham Lincoln was a Moderatilist and so was Steve Irwin (although his OVERUSE of the word "crikey" led to his demise and subsequent banishment from the Moderalist Colonies of Australia). Other famous retroactive Moderatilists in no particular order include... Otto Von Bismark, Ray Charles, Slider (from Top Gun), Christy Brinkley, Mark Wahlberg, and Jim Henson.
If you are interested in Moderatilism or this Moderatilist, please feel free to email me at Moderatilism@gmail.com to become an Apprentice Moderatilist. After a period of 2 weeks living the right way, the Moderatilist way, you will officially become a full fledged Moderatilist and receive a Happy Birthday email on your birthday.
3 comments:
Phil? where are you? this seems like it would be right up your alley, something completely pretentious and useless
Hypothetically, how many pairs of shoes can one own and still be considered a moderatilist?
it's not how many pairs you have. it's how many pairs of each type you have. i would say that over 3 pairs of the same type of shoe is excessive. keep in mind that each Moderatilist is not without his or her vice. however, this situation can not be applied to women for obvious reasons. if it were, Moderalist babies would cease to exist.
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